Friday, March 09, 2007

the bane of my life

There's a certain individual in my life, who'll remain anonymous, that causes me more grief and frustration than I can remember anybody having accomplished in the past. She lacks communication skills to such an extent that it's almost hard to imagine that it isn't an elaborate act. She is the sole vanguard of a cultural gap that she works relentlessly to keep from being bridged. You never know when she's going to try to be friendly and chat or when she's going to be grumpy and give unconstructive criticism of a problem she has with you that seems by all reason to be her own. She'll walk into a classroom full of kids participating enthusiastically in a lesson and fly into a tyrade about the importance of quiet and study. She'll walk into a quiet classroom full of kids studying for a test screaming at the top of her lungs at a crying toddler who hadn't made it to class on time. She'll continue screaming for a full minute about something unrelated to anyone in that studious class without so much as acknowledging how disruptive she is being. Her presence keeps you on edge at all times, because it is impossible to predict when some unreasonable demand or expectation will be poorly expressed in your direction. You will be told within the same day that you need to give more tests, but that too many tests uses too much paper which is unacceptable. She will suddenly thrust into your face problems that you have unsuccessfully been trying to have addressed for as long as you can remember, as if she had stumbled upon them herself long after you should have made them apparent. You will be trying to find the words to reply to these absurd accusations when she will get distracted and her blind wrath will be diverted to somebody or something else. You will not get a chance to reply or retort, and if you try to express one anyway you will be hastily told "just moment" (or with some equivalent sound) and she will not remember to return her attention to you. She will communicate just enough to make you feel inadequate, but not enough to inspire any change. It is as if you are a beast of burden and she is the taskmaster who speaks only with the whip. All of this is a ministry. I think I've vented as much as I need to to go teach my last class before the weekend.

6 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

definitly anonymous.

2:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You catch more flies with honey....

8:26 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

sorry ama.-mol

11:07 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow, what a bitch. I remember you telling me about her. Jeez.

2:41 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well I guess it is important to remember to bring in the "Big Dunamis"-- even though it seems contradictory. And I know that you are already good at this.. but I will join you in this...

Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who persecute you. It is easy to love those who love us..... I guess we live in an opposite world, and although I don't understand it, it is written that we have been given everything we need to truly handle all of these torments in a blessed kind of way. But it seems to be a process, a journey-- not a "one off".... & I am a baby in this journey.

I hope I am not preaching.. just sharing.... that maybe this prescription is given so we can do these things to release our own bondage to the pain that persecution causes us, and we can just keep forgiving when we notice that we are being hurt. With all that said, sometimes it feels traumatic and it is so hard to see the reason behind these horrible experiences, and it is really hard to trust that our characters are being actually sculpted into something beautiful. I pray that you walk in a holy path carved out for you every day... something beyond your understanding, or even awareness. And that you have peace. You know who this is.. :-) Sorry for your pain, and for the pain of the ones who inflict pain.

7:06 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Rom 5:3-5
...perseverance grows character, which grows hope and makes my face less red when people shame me.

3:53 PM  

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